Friday, May 29, 2009


Since Ethan rolled from back to belly last Friday I was hesitant to swaddle him. I swaddled him for a nap on Friday and frantically kept checking the video monitor. I was concerned because if he rolled to his belly he would need his arms to roll back over.

Friday night we decided to put him in a sleep sack instead of the Swaddle Me and give it another try. We tried this once before but he woke up 2 hours later and would not go back to sleep until we swaddled him. This time was much more successful.

I worry about jinxing our success by writing this, but he has been unswaddled for 7 nights now!! It's a big milestone in our house. I guess I won't need to go to college with him to swaddle him every night.

I can't resist posting this pic. Sorry for the nakedness. It was taken during his daily 'air time'. I love the look on his face. It's like he's telling me that I underestimated him. I did.

Saturday, May 23, 2009


This jumperoo has been sitting in Ethan's closet since one of my baby showers. He sat in one at daycare and did pretty well with it so we decided to give ours a try. He's not quite tall enough for it yet so we put a quilt and blanket under his feet to prevent him from just hanging from the seat. He hasn't figured out that he can jump in it but he loves the toys on it.

Pics from his first time in the jumperoo:

The look on his face in this one cracks me up.

Spit bubble :) Preparing to eat that toy.

Must have been good!

Friday, May 22, 2009

My husband is a superhero

Matt saved the day.

Even now when Ethan is nearly 4 months old there are days where I look at the clock, realize that it's the afternoon and that I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Today was one of those days. I was rushing around all morning getting laundry done, taking care of Ethan's needs, making to do lists for our long weekend, etc (yes, those three tasks can take up all morning). I was so busy that I missed seeing my boy roll from back to belly!!! He was hanging out on his side and must have flipped over when I went to go change over the laundry. Unfortunately it seems he has forgotten how to roll from belly to back b/c I found him face planted into the blanket screaming his head off.

Most of the day flew by but Ethan was super fussy. I knew we had errands to run (teacher appreciation project was due at his daycare, we had nothing in the house to eat for dinner and I was even out of cereal which I NEED for a quick snack in the afternoons) but Ethan needed a long nap so errands would be impossible. Plus I couldn't even get myself together to leave the house.

I called Matt while Ethan was mid-breakdown. I left him a voice mail saying that I hoped he was on his way home for his lunch break b/c it's been a tough day.

I finally get Ethan calmed down and napping when Matt came home. Just in time. Not only did he clean the litter box but he ran the project to daycare and stopped at the grocery store to pick up some necessities. I was able to eat a quick bowl of Rice Krispies, shower AND brush my teeth while Ethan napped. It's the little things that mean SO much.

Ethan is amazing too ... he even gave me enough time to write this. Now he's waking so I'll leave you with a pic of my guys...

Of course Matt is still a great uncle too. I love these pics:

Edited to add Matt's comment:
"you watch the baby all day & try to work, i come home for 5 mins & you are going to give me the credit?!"

Thank you! It's always nice to know that you're appreciated too.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Happy Anniversary my love.

To my anonymous commenter ;) I love you and our life together.
Happy 4 years.

Last year we were enjoying this wonderful dinner together.

What's even better?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

4 month wakeful

We've been trying to figure out WHY our son is not sleeping as well and WHAT to do to help. Ugh, who has the time or energy to read sleep training books while you're sleep deprived and caring for an infant? I'm so confused by them and have no idea which book to read, if any at all!

Ethan was previously sleeping 5.5 hours for his first stretch. One time he even gave us 7.5 hours. The second stretch of sleep per night was usually 3 hours. Not too bad. It's been more than a week and he's been getting up 4+ times a night!

Since he wasn't sleeping anyway we decided to transition him to his crib. The first night was sad for me as I was climbing into bed and saw the empty bassinet next to me. I could see his sweet little face on the video monitor though. He didn't seem to mind at all that he was in his crib instead of the bassinet.

We thought we'd try to break him of the swaddle too but that was a big FAIL. He went to sleep fine without it but woke up 3 hours later and would not go back to sleep until we swaddled him back up. For the past few nights it seems he would sleep through some of his wake ups if he stayed swaddled. Somehow he squirms out of the Swaddle Me. It's still in tact but he gets his arms out. Matt thinks it's a sign that we shouldn't swaddle him anymore but I'm not convinced. I think he'll wake up more w/o the swaddle or won't go to sleep w/o it like our trial last week. I guess we could try again.

I was reading another bloggers post about how her 4 month old wasn't sleeping. In the comments someone posted this link. I am SO glad that I read it. I forwarded it to Matt and his response was a thankful one. It made us feel normal and reminded us that this too is just a phase. It is Ethan to a T. He is very distracted during daytime feedings. Our daycare providers mentioned that he would eat an ounce, take a long break, look around, then eat another ounce. It took him more than an hour to finish a bottle. He's been more distracted while nursing too. It seems he's catching up at night.

Monday, May 11, 2009

He's an overachiever

At 14 weeks Ethan rolled over from belly to back, laughed at peek a boo, and found his feet ... all in ONE day! A week later he seems to be teething ALREADY!! He has been fussier, drooling more, and chewing on anything he can get into his mouth. There is a tiny white bump which appears to be a tooth breaking through. I cannot believe it!

He's also just about 15 pounds and ready to move out of the bassinet. I'm not ready for it but it's necessary. I love the ease of nighttime feeding with him right next to me. Now I'll have to listen for him on the monitor, drag myself out of bed and to his room to feed him. I'm sure I'll survive.

His current favorite toys are still Whoozit and Sophie. Chan is another favorite.
He prefers to chew on Sophie's face :)

Jacques the Peacock is a tummy time friend.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar is his current favorite book.

He still loves bath time too.

We see lots of smiles at home but he's pretty serious around other people, especially if they are new to him. He doesn't like to miss a thing and watches everything going on around him.

Sunday, May 10, 2009


Today I am even more grateful for my blessings. I used to cringe at the thought of Mother's Day because I do not have a relationship with my mother (much too long and personal of a story to share anything more than that). Last year I cried over everything Mother's Day related because I longed so desparately to be a mother. It hurt too much to even publish the blog post I created about Mother's Day last year.

One year ago we were completing our final treatment cycle. If it didn't work out then we were supposed to move on to a new treatment plan. I felt doubtful because only one follicle developed but knowing that we would have a plan to move forward with helped me stay positive. I remember trying not to get too attached as we watched that little follicle grow with each ultra sound yet I would fall asleep with my hand on my belly as if I was keeping that one follicle warm.

I'm tearing up right now just thinking back to that and what comes to mind is THANK GOD.

Happy Mother's Day. And if you're hurting today, I'm thinking of and praying for you too.

I have saved the following for more than 5 years. I've read it several times since then but it means more today than ever.

"For those of us that are mothers, you will
understand every word and every meaning. For those of you that it's your first time, don't worry it won't be long before you do.

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a
survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a `baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on
weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my
daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also
begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she'd understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.
"You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

This blessed gift from God . . . that of being a

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Food. Mmm. Food.

I keep thinking that there is so much to document, where do I begin? I'll start with what I think almost as much (well, maybe half as much) as I think about Ethan - Food.

I'm still dairy, soy, wheat, egg, and free. As of 20 minutes ago I was peanut free too but today I introduced natural peanut butter. The plan was to introduce one allergen a week. We started that April 1st. I should be all the way to introducing wheat but we've had some setbacks such as the reaction to Tri-Vi-Sol, then a cold, then a rash on his belly and itchy eyes. I'm not sure if those were caused by salsa or strawberries.

What do I eat? People ask me that every time they hear about my diet. The short answer: A lot of rice. Rice milk, rice cereal, rice with chicken and vegetables.

More details?
Breakfast is usually rice milk with Rice Krispies and fruit. Rice milk is not as bad as it sounds. It tastes like sweet skim milk. You do not need sugary cereals with it. I also eat plan old fashion oatmeal. I add brown sugar or fruit to it. It only takes 2 minutes in the microwave and I'm guessing that it's healthier than the packets of oatmeal (less sugar and no soy).

Lunch is usually leftovers from dinner the night before. I've also been loving those microwavable pre-wrapped sweet potatoes. I add a little olive oil and brown sugar to them sometimes. I've also learned that Boarshead Oven Gold roasted turkey lunch meat is dairy and soy free. For turkey sandwiches I've used Enjoy Life Foods plain bagels. They aren't too bad once toasted. I add Dijon mustard and baby spinach to the sandwich. I've also tried Ener-G brown rice bread for sandwiches. Eh, I can take or leave it. It's filling but crumbly.

Dinners usually revolve around chicken or turkey burger. Matt's favorite has been ground chicken seasoned with garlic salt and brown sugar then add crumbled bacon. Served with rice and veggies of course :) We also have sloppy joes (mine is w/o a bun). We have grilled or baked chicken on a lot of nights b/c it's great leftover on a salad for lunch the next day.

Salads - no fun salad dressings. Just plain oil and vinegar. I often add carrots, avocado, tomatoes but I'm questioning whether or not Ethan has reactions to them so I've been avoiding them.

Snacks - Fritos and plain Lays potato chips!

Sweet snacks - Enjoy Life Foods has cookies and bars. The cookies were pretty good from the start and the bars have grown on me. The first time I ate one I didn't care for it but now I love them. One of my coworkers said that my taste buds must be dying off :) Enjoy Life also makes granola that I love (the cranberry one). I add it to my oatmeal and cereal. They also make chocolate chips!! I have been eating handfuls of those lately. I also added them to pancakes (the allergen free pancake mix is made by Cherrybrook Kitchen.

Cons and Pros: Our grocery bill is definitely higher with all the fresh fruits, vegetables, and allergen free food. Between the pancake mix and chocolate chips my pancakes cost about $12 but they were good!! The cookies are about $5 for a box of 12 small cookies but when you need something sweet it doesn't matter. We figure that we are saving money by not eating out and not buying formula so it works out. An added bonus is that I FEEL better. I have more energy and have lost more than my baby weight. Of course the biggest bonus is that I can continue breastfeeding Ethan. I feel SO fortunate that it has worked out so well. I have to admit that before Ethan was here I knew that I wanted to try breastfeeding but sometimes the thought of it creeped me out. That hasn't been a concern since his arrival. I also worried that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed. I read that women with PCOS can have milk supply issues. I've also had friends who have tried SO VERY hard to nurse and struggled with latch issues, supply issues, etc. I worried about facing those same challenges. So, again, I feel very fortunate. The diet is something under my control and I can do this. I think some of those other challenges would be much more difficult.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Update to come soon & links

On my to do list is: Update blog
Ethan, work, and life in general are keeping me so busy! All is well and Ethan is doing so many new things. Update to come soon. In the meantime...

I shared these online already so sorry about the repeats to those who have seen them.

Here is a slide show set to a BEAUTIFUL song by Jack Zerby. Check out his site, songs, and create your own slide show!

Also, I finally uploaded a video of Ethan talking to his daddy. He was 10 weeks old here.