Saturday, July 18, 2009

Difficult day

To prevent this post from being a big downer, I've added pics of Ethan :)

I went to bed last night feeling sad and frustrated. I'm worried that Ethan is reacting to something else in my diet but I can't figure out WHAT it is. I guess it's time for some more process of elimination as that is the only way to even try to figure this out. His eczema was almost cleared but his cheeks have been more bumpy and red over the past 2 days, even with the medication. His exposure to the cats hasn't increased at all so this leads me to believe that it's food related. His diapers have also been more green and mucousy. I'm feeling sad that he has these symptoms and frustrated that I haven't figured this out yet.

{He was happy to be 5 months in this pic. His eczema was out of control but still a cute pic}

I've been reading that he could be reacting to beef, legumes, or even the Enjoy Life Foods Sunbutter Crunch bars that I've been eating. Their sunflower seeds are processed on the same machines as soybeans! They are listed as no soy because the product falls under some level to determine them as no soy but I'm not sure that it's worth the risk.

{LOVE that bracelet!}

I feeling overwhelmed at the thought that Ethan could have an intolerance to even more foods. This makes me VERY apprehensive about starting solid foods.

{Love those chunky legs too}

Speaking of solid foods...
We have been trying to introduce rice cereal with no success. Ethan spits it out every time and sometimes won't even open his mouth for it. We're taking a break for a couple of days before trying again. I would like to delay solid foods even longer, due to his allergies. If he's not ready then we won't push it but it was a suggested alternative since he isn't taking a bottle at daycare. He continues to refuse bottles. He turns his head away and becomes angry (screams) if you keep trying. We've also tried giving him different sippy cups but he pushes those away too. Some people have said that if he's hungry enough, then he'll eat but I'm not sure if that is true for him. He'll wait, meltdown, and wait some more. Then of course none of us sleep well since he wakes much more often to eat.

{This one made me laugh. It's similar to the face he makes when we try to give him a bottle or cereal. He makes his lips tight then spits out whatever gets into his mouth!}

Disappointing news that broke my heart a little this morning...
I had about 300oz of breastmilk in a deep freezer and it unfortunately THAWED! Somehow the outlet reset button popped so the freezer turned off. I cried when I discovered it. Some of the milk was still icy so I'm assuming this happened last night. I could kick myself for not putting this week's milk in the freezer last night like I had planned to. I might have discovered it before it was too late. I cried some more. This milk made the possibility that Ethan may not outgrow his MSPI until he is 18-24 months a little less overwhelming since the milk is in a deep freezer & is supposed to be good for one year. I had planned to start giving it to him in a sippy cup while continuing to pump and store so that he would have breastmilk (even if he decides to self wean much earlier). He likely will not be able to tolerate whole milk at one year and rice milk does not have enough fat recommended for brain development. I'm learning about Hemp milk as an alternative after he's a year old. The hypoallergenic formula is another alternative but some children refuse it due to the taste.

So 300 ounces - GONE. All that time spent at the pump. All those plastic storage bags wasted. ugh. I could cry again.

Sorry for such a downer post. It's a very tough day and I'm overwhelmed.


  1. More later, but don't feel too bad about the milk. It happens. I, too, had a store of pumped milk. What an effort that was. Our refridge went on the blink. And, we could not get dry ice anywhere. My pumped milk (man, what an effort w/keeping everything sterile, etc) all gone. It happens... Anyway, more thoughts later related to elimination diet, etc.

  2. I'm sorry that you've lost milk too. Such a pain to see that all go to waste.

  3. yes, it was painful. now, i can look back w/a little humor and less chagrin. I didnt have 300 ounces. not nearly as much. ouch. OUCH!!!

    we lost a lot of food too as our fridge went on & off several times over the course of several weeks. the repairman visited 5 times, and i still dont trust this fridge! it's under 5 years old so i didnt expect that.

  4. I'm so so sorry to hear about the freezer and the milk. I would have cried too. I feel terrible for all the frustrations you're having to deal with. I hope things start to improve for you guys soon.