Monday, September 14, 2009

Judge Judy's

I will preface this by saying no matter what choices you make, someone out there will make judgments. I feel if we are choosing to do what is best for our family then we shouldn't worry about other judgments. It's still difficult to brush some judgments off though. I know that some comments are not intended to be hurtful but they are still bothersome. I've been trying to keep in mind that we're all guilty of making judgments of others.

Where am I going with this?

Recently, after overhearing a conversation about the extent I've gone to with my diet in order to continue breastfeeding, someone said to me "There's a time to stop breastfeeding". She is correct, there is a time to stop breastfeeding but that time is different for everyone. Her intention was to tell me that she thinks I've reached that time. She's wrong. She doesn't know all of the details and I didn't feel the need to share any more information with her so I ignored her comment. Obviously I'm still giving her comment thought though. It's difficult not to. I'm sure others have had negative thoughts about what I've done too but I'm HAPPY with MY CHOICE.

At one point it seemed like there weren't any other options besides continuing to breastfeed and I was completely OK with that. First of all, we couldn't make the switch unless we wanted to continue the bottle battle. I wasn't going to put us through that. Ethan has done so well breastfeeding and it comforted him very much. Why would I take that away from him? I love the way breastfeeding has contributed to our bond. Why would I give that up? Other factors were that Ethan would need to be on prescription formula. There is a chance that after time he could become intolerant to that special formula. What the heck would we do then? Search for allergen free breast milk through a milk bank? Can you imagine how expensive that would be? Even if these weren't factors, it works for us and that's what matters.

Others have made negative comments about the sacrifices I've made. I'll be the first to admit that the giving up so many foods part of this hasn't been the easiest thing in the world but it certainly hasn't been the hardest either. Aside from waiting for him, trying to figure out WHAT he is allergic to has been the hardest.

I'm sure that I'll run into Judge Judy's when it comes to many other areas of parenting (I already have when it comes to sleep, cloth diapering, his allergies, etc). I don't think they're all out to intentionally judge. Some judgments stem from having different ways of doing things. We make different choices and that is a liberty. It doesn't mean that one is right or wrong. I choose to do things one way and another mom chooses to do things another way. If they're judging my choice then maybe that is their issue to deal with. Parenting choices are tough (I'm sure tougher ones will come with time) but I hope to be confident in my choices the way I am with my choice to continue breastfeeding. It's a beautiful thing to HAVE CHOICES!

I've said it on here before ... I feel very fortunate that breastfeeding worked out for us even with the challenges/sacrifices. It has been an amazing experience. I'll take the saggy, lopsided breasts as badges of honor.


  1. Amen sister!! Ethan is so lucky to have you as his mom! And LOL at that last sentence...

  2. Actually, the person who made such a comment is soooo ignorant that I must say that person is just STUPID. LOW IQ, UNINFORMED, and very, very STUPID.

    You have an baby with MFPI, breast feeding is the best thing you can do for him. Even those high priced elemental formulas are not really an option - they taste like vomit and good luck getting your baby to drink that crap which is loaded with corn syrup - something he may be intolerant to or develop an intolerance to. Plus, the elemental formulas are so expensive - $40 to $50 per can which only lasts a 2 to 3 days. Can this idiot who made that comment afford that? By the way, that stuff takes like vomit. If a baby can drink that crap, he/she must not have any taste-buds yet.

    The other thing about this STUPID person who made such a comment is that they are probably LAZY slack-asses who could never do what you are doing. Nit-wit mothers. Your baby is thriving - thanks to you. He'll be much healthier too given what you've done for him. To me, the bonding aspect is wonderful, but the other critical aspect is that this is the BEST THING FOR HIM.

    You are an AWESOME mom, and anyone that makes such a lame, un-informed comment could never measure up to you or the MANY other women out there who are willing to make the effort for their babies.

    To me, the person who said this must be one heck of a lazy, self-indulgent, slack-ass, ignorant mother, who thinks giving up certain foods for a temporary amount of time for an allergic baby with MFPI is over the top.

    You are extraordinary because the masses are ordinary. I feel sorry for whomever made such a stupid comment to you - as they must indeed be very, very ordinary,very ignorant, and most certainly a lazy, slack-ass.

  3. I am really sad to hear you're having to deal with negative comments about your decisions. The thing is they are your decisions. Only YOU can truly know what is best for your family. So long as you and M make the decisions you feel work for you then that should be the end of it.

    We're all guilty of judging others but that doesn't make it right and I hope you're able to put these comments out of your mind. I know that is easier said than done.

    I've been thinking about you and hoping things are going well. I need to call and catch up soon!